'Twas St. Viggo’s Day eve, when all through the house
No computer component stirred, no, not a mouse;
The chocolate cake & champagne laid out with care,
In hopes that St. Viggo would find them both there;
The Sisters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of St. Viggo danced in their heads;
And Mother Inferior, in her starched wimple,
Had just painted chocolate in St. Viggo’s dimple,
But before she could lick it from the photograph,
St. V himself showed up, and said, with a laugh,
Say, all of you Sisters must be pretty sick,
Now, can’t you find anything better to lick?
His eyes - how they gleamed - colour changed like the sea!
His hair it was golden like buckwheat honey!
His mouth, although scarred, was quite kissable too,
And his feet clearly looked like they’d never known shoe;
The stump of a paintbrush he held in his teeth,
And some photographs hung from his clothes like a wreath;
He had artist’s hands and a swimmer’s fine bod’,
That makes lustful women exclaim “Omigod!”
He was long, lean & sexy, quite unlike an elf,
She laughed thinking “I have him all to myself!”;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave her to know she had nothing to dread;
The lust in the breast of this new-fallen nun
Gave a lustre of sweat, though she’d hardly begun,
And her thoughts of St. V, though they’d always been wet
Were, under his tutelage, much wetter yet!
He nibbled her ears, and some other parts too
He fondled and humped her, and when he was through
The Mother Inferior barked (with a blush)
And that was when St. Viggo came, with a rush.
Then out in the driveway there rose such a clatter,
She sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
When, what to her wondering eyes should arise,
But a red pickup-truck, out of which jumped 10 guys,
Fresh from the re-shoots of Lord of the Rings
Having detoured the Oscars, and such trivial things
More horny than rabbits, his apostles they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, both Seans and Davy, Lije, Orlie and Billy!
Karl, Craig, Dom, Hugo, now lets screw them silly!
I’m glad that you fellows have answered my call
To storm through this convent, we’ll service ‘em all!”
The Sisters awoke when they heard all the noise,
Saying: “Mother Inferior must share the boys!”
They rushed straight around to the good Mother’s room,
And broke in on the gang and their va-va-va-VOOM!
As dry sticks and grass that wildfires consume,
The Sisters all melted on entering that room,
And as with their eyes wide they stood, all a-quiver
The boys gathered round and said: “Hey, girls, deliver!”
…(several verses omitted)
And then, when the orgy had quite reached it’s peak
St. Viggo stood up and proceeded to speak
He declaimed some poems, and sang them a song
And kissed them each soundly, but then, before long
He said: “All you Sisters should now understand
What it’s like to be under the Saint and his band
We’ve satisfied all of you, put on a show
But now I’m afraid that we really must go!”
He sprang to his horse, to his lads gave a grin,
Away his horse sped & the truck revved its engine.
But his voice sounded out, before he disappeared
"WE HAD SO MUCH FUN, GIRLS – LET’S DO IT NEXT YEAR!"