Film Reviews are in chronological order. For current completed reviews, check the alphabetized listing in the dropdown box. Please check back for updates!

Warning! There are many spoilers present throughout the reviews. If you prefer a general overview please refer to the the short summaries on the respective IMDb film page.

GEORGE WASHINGTON (mini-series) (1984) Character: Lieutenant	review by HermioneO Plot Summary from IMDb: The early life and career of the American General and President through his participation in the Revolutionary War. SPOILERS Characters Lieutenant at LeBoeuf (Viggo Mortensen): Viggo plays an unnamed lieutenant at Fort LeBoeuf, which was founded originally by the French near what would become Waterford Pennsylvania during the French and Indian war. George Washington (Barry Bostwick): Whenever I see this guy I can’t help thinking about Brad from Rocky Horror. I wonder if Viggo ever did Rocky? Was he Rocky, or maybe Rif-Raff? Frankenfurter would be too much to hope for. The cast listing on an epic mini-series is way too long to go into, so forget it. Story I don’t remember even watching this thing when it hit the screens the first time around. I assume it’s the story of George Washington’s rise to power or whatever. Other Repeat Appearances Will Lyman reunited with Viggo in A Perfect Murder (1998). Tim Moyer played a detective in Witness (1985). Sam Wells was a stand-in for Jason Beghe in GI Jane (1997). LeBoeuf is a Place, not a Person Other Viggo Connections Patty Duke, who played Martha Washington, is Sean Astin’s mother. Sean, of course, played Samwise Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. J. Kenneth Campbell appeared in Search for Tomorrow in the 1985 season. Patrick James Clarke appeared in the 1984 season of Search for Tomorrow. Keven Conroy appeared in the 1984-1985 season of Search for Tomorrow (I’m sensing a theme here). John Glover was in Miami Vice in 1987 and Search for Tomorrow in 1983-84. William Prince appeared in the 1986 season of Search for Tomorrow. Mike Hodge played Jimmy Joe in To Wong Foo, the film Viggo tried out for but didn’t get. Brad Sullivan appeared in Miami Vice in 1987. I think the casting directors for this mini series posted recruiting notices on the sets of several soap operas and other TV series advertising that they needed extras, and Viggo and some of his buddies drove out for auditions. Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality/Quantity): 1 out of 10. 1 brief scene that would be called a cameo if it were of any importance. Also, since this was made for TV in the early 80s, the video quality sucks big-time. Nekkid Viggo: 0 out of 10. This was a TV miniseries. No one got nekkid, least of all the extras. Viggo Sex: 0 out of 10. What do you think? Fetish Factor: 2 out of 10. Viggo in costume. Very young Viggo. Clothes: 1 out of 10. He’s in costume. Viggo Sound Bytes: 0 out of 10. He gets one line and I don’t even know what it was. Something about a message for George Washington or something. Total Viggonness Rating: 0.7 out of 10 * This is one of Viggo’s earliest appearances and it was on TV. I have not seen it so I couldn’t say if it was any good. I have only seen the barest of screencaps for this appearance and I feel no urge to hunt down a copy. BACK TOP
WITNESS (1985) Character: Moses Hochleitner	review by HermioneO Plot Summary from IMDB: Samuel Lap is a young Amish boy who witnesses a murder in Philadelphia while traveling with his mother Rachel. A good cop named John Book must go with them into hiding when the killers come after them. All three retreat to Amish country and Book has to adjust to the new life style, and his feelings for the boy's mother. Of course the killers are still on their trail. This was Viggo’s first appearance on the big screen. He filmed for two other major films before this one but his scenes ended up on the cutting room floor. In interviews he said this was a great early experience for him because Peter Weir (director) was very encouraging and easy to work with, which made him want to go on and do more in spite of his later negative experiences. Thank you Peter Weir. SPOILERS Characters John Book (Harrison Ford): Hero of the film, John Book is a police detective investigating a murder that reaches into corruption within the department. Rachel Lapp (Kelly McGillis): Rachel is the widowed Amish mother of the only witness to a brutal murder. Her period of mourning is over and she has a suitor, but feels attracted to the stranger who enters their world. Samuel Lapp (Lukas Haas): Lukas Haas had his first major role in this film as a child who is the sole witness to a brutal murder. Daniel Hochlietner (Alexander Gudenov): Alexander Gudenov was a Russian ballet dancer who defected to the west, but didn’t quite have the press of Barishnakov. He plays the Amish suitor of Rachel Lapp. His brooding presence is at first threatening, but he helps to illustrate the gentle, non-violent nature of the Amish community through his calm acceptance of the presence of his rival. He is cruelly provoked by an ignorant townsman, teasing the large Amish man the coward knows won’t lash out. This gives the hero of the film a chance to punch out a villain, but the Amish are all just horrified at the violence. Moses Hochlietner (Viggo Mortensen): This was Viggo’s first feature film, at least the first where he actually made it into the final cut. Moses is the younger brother of Daniel Hochlietner, who is courting Rachel Lapp before John Book shows up. Moses is so soft and sweet looking, he is like the bright and shining reflection of the dark and brooding Daniel, until we see that Daniel isn’t really dark. Moses wants to dislike John Book, as his brother’s romantic rival, but the man’s obvious skill at carpentry and willingness to work as hard as everyone else wins him over. Moses admires his older brother and remains his loyal shadow throughout the film, even standing by his passive restraint during the ugly bullying scene and telling him, “It is nothing,” in German. Story I am not going to do an in-depth review of this movie because the purpose of my reviews is to highlight Viggo. Witness is a classic film that will long be remembered for its beautiful scenery and the glimpse it gave us into Amish life. Moses is such a minor character that it is easy to overlook him if you’re not a Viggo fanatic, but he serves a purpose other than just filling out a tight blue cotton shirt and black pants. Moses is the opposite of a shadow to the Daniel character. Daniel is the suitor of Rachel, who was expecting to be able to declare himself now that her period of mourning was over. But here comes this outsider, this English, stepping into the scene and Rachel’s head is turned. Because Daniel is so tall and his features severe, he seems threatening in spite of being a pacifist. He is not happy with the presence of Book, and exudes this shadowy aura of menace in spite of being always civil. Moses, as his innocent younger brother, “shadows” him wherever he goes. He obviously admires his older brother and feels a need to stick up for him, but his personality is just too friendly to suppress and then he’s smiling and shaking hands. Viggo exudes just the right mix of suspicion and country manners, with trepidation and fascination during and after the fight scene in town. He’s been taught his whole life that violence was wrong, but to a young man in the thrall of pubescent hormones there had to be a rush of satisfaction at seeing those bullies put down. Although Viggo was 27 during the filming of this movie, he could be a teenager just becoming a man, and this makes him an irresistible innocent. Other Oh My God David Cronenberg was originally asked to direct this film. Can you imagine? This was right in between the Fly and the Dead Zone, and the same year as his cameo in Into the Night. Other Connections Lukas Haas was in a film called Young Americans (2004), totally unrelated to Viggo’s movie by the same name. He was also thanked in the credits of the Thin Red Line. How many people did this movie thank? Brent Jennings appeared a few times in the Miami Vice series (1984, 1985 and 1988). Sylvester Stallone, who later appeared with Viggo in Daylight (1996), turned down the role of John Book. Talk about dodging a bullet. Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality/Quantity): 4 out of 10. Viggo plays a very minor character with only a few lines and almost no close-ups. However, the quality of the video is good so you can get a fair amount of screencaps of a very young, very beautiful Viggo. I managed 84 on the 20-year anniversary edition DVD. Nekkid Viggo: 1 out of 10. Innocent Moses Hochleitner would never appear nekkid in public. In our dreams, maybe, but not in public. However, we do get some nice shots of his muscular young arms, and a patch of hairy chest through his open collar. Viggo Sex: 0 out of 10. Apparently he’s not old enough to have sex. Fetish Factor: 4 out of 10. Young Viggo. Viggo in a hat. Viggo handling tools. Viggo eating (always nice to see). Viggo carrying a pitchfork. Viggo tongue. Viggo wearing suspenders. Dangling feet on construction site. Clothes: 2 out of 10. He’s Amish. All we see him in is black trousers and black jacket. The tight blue shirts are nice. Oh, and I don’t think we ever see him in suspenders again. Viggo Sound Bytes: 2 out of 10. “He said ‘twas a beesting made him limp.” “It is nothing” (spoken in German but I don’t know the words) Total Viggonness Rating: 2.2 out of 10 Don’t buy this for the Viggo unless you have to have all of Viggo’s movies. However, Witness was a great film all on its own and is a worthy addition to any video collection. In 2004 they put out a special anniversary edition containing lengthy interviews and background information and Viggo talks more in the interviews and has more screen time than he did in the movie itself. And he has a beard and mustache from when he was experimenting with looks for Alatriste. BACK TOP
SALVATION (1987) Character: Jerome Stample	Review by HermioneO Salvation Release Date: 1987 Plot Summary from IMDB: A troubled young woman hooks up with a money-crazed televangelist and becomes a rich, heavy-metal Christian rock star. SPOILERS Characters Reverend Randall (Stephen McHattie): Reverend Randall may believe some of the crap he’s spewing, but you begin to doubt that as you watch him rehearse his sermons while watching nasty porno. He is immediately suspicious of the young woman at his door but lets her in anyway and proceeds to have wild, kinky sex with her. Compared to the Stamples, however, the Rev is a sympathetic character – at least he’s educated and knows how to run a business. McHattie must have worked out, because he’s cut when you see him undressed. Very nice legs. Rhonda Stample (Exene Cervenka): This woman can really sing. She is a great singer, with wonderful stage presence and a remarkable talent for songwriting. She sucks as an actress. That said, Rhonda is a total nutcase and if I were Jerome I woulda’ just left instead of pimping her out to the Rev. Of course, Jerome wasn’t much of a prize either. Rhonda is a fanatically devoted follower of the Reverend Randall, giving half of Jerome’s paycheck to his ministry. Though we see her briefly doing such domestic tasks as lighting a gas oven and sorting laundry, the limited glimpse of the house proves she is not much of a homemaker. She doesn’t have sex with Jerome either, so I don’t see what the attraction is – except she has a hot little jailbait sister. This may get me placed on the hit list of the Exene Cervenka fan club, but I’m adding her to Molly Ringwald and Chelsea Field as one of my least favorite Viggo Leading Ladies. (I liked her fine in He’s Got a She.) Lenore Finley (Dominique Davalos): Meet the hot little jailbait sister. This girl seems to spend all her time teasing Jerome by doing her nails in the living room wearing a skimpy nightgown and inviting him to pajama parties. She exists only to tempt men, and that is how she is used – to tempt the righteous Reverend Randall. She also likes her sex hot and cold – rough and sweet, and gets it from the Rev, who is as sick and twisted as she likes it, and from Jerome, who is just plain confused and angry. Jerome Stample (Viggo Mortensen): This man is frustrated and angry and thinks the world owes him something. When he loses his job, his anger and frustration becomes focused upon the Reverend Randall. He’s a greasy unskilled laborer who hatches a plan to blackmail the Rev to get back the money he’s owed and then some. When rejected by his wife, he goes down on her sister in their living room. No, I’m not making excuses for him. But I must say his technique has vastly improved since then. Story This is a poorly written, over-acted indictment against televangelism and Christian rock. The Stamples represent the lowest form of trash who force their way into the religion business and then turn on each other when the money begins rolling in. I like a little more subtlety in my message movies. I didn’t like this movie the first time I saw it and I still don’t like it. This sort of over-blown so-called satire just does not appeal to me. I think the movie had its story (right) and its budget ($900) and that’s the way it had to go, but I gotta say I really wish they’d been telling a different story, more about Jerome and Rhonda and a real look at their life together, whether they made it or not. What made me want this was the scene, early on in the film, where Jerome is either waiting to get into work or on his break, standing outside, looking through the iron grille and smoking. The look on his face, as the camera just stays there, is the only genuine human expression I saw in the entire film. I wanted to know his story at that moment. Unfortunately, I got Salvation instead. Other Repeat Appearances Stephen McHattie also appears in History of Violence as Leland, the head bad guy in the opening scenes. Exene Cervenka (Rhonda) also appeared as the wife of the homeless man played by Viggo in Floundering (1994). Other Connections Stephen McHattie was at one point married to Meg Foster, who appeared in Tripwire (1990) as the wife who gets killed early in the film. He also played James Dean in a made for TV biography (1976), and many people have compared young Viggo to James Dean. Exene Cervenka wrote “The Future is a War,” which appeared on the GI Jane soundtrack. And of course, she was married to Viggo after the two met on the set of Salvation, and bore Viggo’s only son, Henry, back in 1988. Exene also appears in a music video with Viggo for “He’s Got a She.” Mystery Tattoo This is the only movie where I have seen full on shots of the tattoo on Viggo’s right arm. Usually it is obscured, or he’s attempted to have it removed and this lightened it. In this movie, you can see clearly it is something with a curling tail. Unfortunately, due to the poor quality of the video, I still was unable to identify it. Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality/Quantity): 4 out of 10. This is the worst quality video I have yet attempted to screencap. The movie is about 80 minutes long and I got just over 140 caps, and Viggo is a major, if secondary, character. The film is dark and the quality of the color processing causes bleeding and washing out and all sorts of other things I can’t identify because I don’t know the technical terms. This results in lousy screencaps. Viggo himself portrays one of the least attractive characters, physically, he has ever played. It wasn’t a total loss, and once again screencapping revealed a few surprises for me. I discovered two places where Jerome does not appear completely unattractive to me. For that, I raised this rating a little. Nekkid Viggo: 4 out of 10. Jerome takes his shirt off after taking a dip in the ocean. He puts on one of the Rev’s suit jackets, but has no shirt on so you still see his chest hair. At the very end of the video, during the music video portion, that naked ass may well be Viggo’s (I bumped the rating up 1 point just for that). Viggo Sex: 2 out of 10. At the beginning of the movie Jerome dives face first into his sister-in-law’s lap, as she ineffectually tries to pull him out. He tries unsuccessfully to get a kiss from his wife. At the Rev’s mansion, he tackles Lenore to the floor and kisses her. The implication is that they have sex, off screen. At a poker game, Jerome stuffs a dildo into the cleavage of two women playing with them. Fetish Factor: 7 out of 10. Sleazy Viggo. Facial hair (scruff). Viggo on a motorcycle. Viggo wearing a helmet. Viggo smoking. Viggo cussing (a lot). Viggo bent over a bar to get his ass branded. Clothes: 1 out of 10. Much as I like to see him recycle his clothing, I hope he never wears anything from this movie ever again. I hope they burned everything. Except the shorts. Viggo Sound Bytes: 1 out of 10. “Maybe I got a little carried away.” After nearly killing the Rev. Total Viggoness Rating: 3.1 out of 10 Salvation ended up with a much higher rating than I would have guessed going in. The high fetish factor certainly helped, as well as Viggo’s ass at the end. BACK TOP
FRESH HORSES (1988) Character: Green	review by HermioneO Plot Summary from IMDb : A Cincinnati college student breaks off his engagement to his wealthy fiancée after he falls in love with a backwoods Kentucky girl he meets at a party. She claims to be 20 years old, but he learns that she's actually just 16 and already married. SPOILERS Characters Green (Viggo Mortensen) : Green is a back country red neck with far too many guns. Somehow he got himself a 16-year-old wife with obvious mental problems. Maybe he was dazzled by her bright orange hair. Green comes across as a mean-tempered, dangerous man who just might do anything. He appears twice in the film and steals the scene both times. He just may be the most interesting character in the film, for all his screen time is less than 5 minutes total. Jewel (Molly Ringwald) : Jewel is maybe 20 years old, or maybe 16 – she can’t get her story straight and there is no objective third party to trust. She has been abused from childhood on and is currently in a loveless marriage with a man who she only married to get away from her father. Now she’s met someone different – someone she likes – but it’s too late for her. She’s used up white trash from the wrong side of the tracks and she knows it. Matt Larkin (Andrew McCarthy) : This spoiled rich boy (by comparison only) has a promising future if he doesn’t screw it up. He has a fiancé with the kind of connections that will ensure him a successful career. But, much like a moth, he is drawn to the fiery temptress Jewel who he encounters at a notorious party house. Story To be honest, I’ve never once sat through this entire film, although I have watched large parts of it other than the Viggo bits. I just couldn’t bring myself to care enough to watch the whole thing. This film was made at the tail-end of the brief brat-pack era. Andrew McCarthy and Molly Ringwald got together to make another of their formulaic teen/young adult romances. Only this wasn’t directed by John Huston or anyone else who was any good, and the script wasn’t even passable, and the story was not very believable. You can do without one of these elements but all three? Add in mediocre talent in the lead roles and you’ve got a bad movie whose only reason to exist is to provide promising new talent with a paycheck and possible future work. There was an interesting supporting cast here, some of whom went on to better careers than those they were supporting. In addition to Viggo, we had Ben Stiller (Mystery Men, Zoolander, Meet the Parents, Dodge Ball, Starsky and Hutch) and Doug Hutchison (Green Mile, Con Air, A Time to Kill, Batman & Robin). Although Viggo’s time in this movie is very short, the character has sparked a lot of conversation in Viggo fan circles. A lot of it is because of the gaping plot holes left by a poorly written script. Green is a big, mean, evil man reputed to have killed people. But he also married this abused girl to get her out of an incestuous household and since then has never had sex with her. Green is a gun-hoarding survivalist who lays out the whole plot in a few sentences in his brief scene. Green is a violent, unpredictable individual who comes home to find a strange man in his home and just sits back and calmly regards the Larkin character as he destroys a soap sculpture in a childish tantrum. As Viggo fans, we are inclined to be sympathetic to his characters. Honestly, we even fall in love with a serial killer/stalker. But the inconsistencies in Fresh Horses leave us with unanswered questions that make it too easy to create our own back story, in which the endlessly patient Green becomes a hero and a victim. Other Reason to Exist The best reason for this film to have been made was that Sean Penn watched it, with the sound turned off, while waiting for his girlfriend to get ready for their date. He saw Green on that screen and realized he was looking at the physical embodiment of the angry young man from the movie he wanted to make, Indian Runner. Other Connections Patti D’Arbanville, one of the minor characters in this movie, was also a 1985 guest on Miami Vice. I mention her more because of a memorable role she played in the movie Main Event (1979), where she threatened to cut off Barbara Streissand’s tits. Ben Stiller played the uncredited jerk running the nursing home in Happy Gilmore (1996), which is one of Viggo’s favorite movies. Stiller is also another Miami Vice alumnus (1987). Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality/Quantity): 4 out of 10. Viggo has a short but vital role in this film, totalling maybe 5 minutes. Most of that time is dedicated to close-ups of his face, especially as he’s delivering the facts of life to Andrew McCarthy with barely concealed malicious glee. The video quality is okay, though it could be better. Nekkid Viggo : 0 out of 10. Not even an inch. Viggo Sex : 0 out of 10. Green gets nothing. Fetish Factor : 3 out of 10. Viggo in plaid. Viggo with long hair. Viggo wearing a black knit cap. Not a lot to work with here. Clothes: 2 out of 10. I don’t think anything made it out of this movie. He wears a plaid shirt and a green army jacket. Viggo Sound Bytes : 4 out of 10. Viggo delivers the plot précis (such as it is) in a few short lines. “I’m not good enough for her and you’re too good.” “You gonna come riding up on your white horse and carry her out of here?” Total Viggonness Rating: 2.2 out of 10 This is another of those films you can skip unless you want the complete Viggo collection. BACK TOP
PRISON (1988) Character: Burke/Forsythe Electrocution	review by HermioneO Plot Summary from IMDb : When Charles Forsythe was sent to the electric chair for a crime he didn't commit, he forever haunts the prison where it occurred. Flash forward several years the prison is reopened, under the control of its new Warden Eaton Sharpe, a former security guard who framed Charlie. When prisoners are ordered to break down the wall to the electric chair, they unknowingly release the angry spirit of Charles Forsythe, a powerful being suffering from a murderous rage, all leading up to the Warden himself. SPOILERS Characters Burke/Forsythe (Viggo Mortensen) : Viggo plays a sort of dual role. The main character is Burke, a prisoner recently transferred to a re-opened prison. But he looks just like a prisoner who was killed in that same prison over 30 years before - Charles Forsythe. This film begins with the execution scene for Forsythe. Viggo puts in a few subtle nuances of his own, probably desperately trying to inject some interest and depth into his character. When Forsythe is strapped to the chair, the guard (Lane Smith) yanks off his crucifix. Just before he is electrocuted, we see Forsythe cross his fingers. Burke is beautiful and luminous, reminding many of a young James Dean. Personally, I think more of a young Elvis in those blue-shirt closeups. He doesn't say much, letting others do most of the talking while he just keeps his answers to yes or no or sure or nods or shakes his head. Warden Sharpe (Lane Smith) : This man is insane. Eaten away inside by the awful things he did, he falls into paranoia, giving crazy orders that no one opposes. He should be taken out and shot. Annoying social worker (Chelsea Field): This is the worst female costar ever in Viggo history. She shows at least a glimmer of intelligence when she eyes Burke's ass in the cafeteria, but that's it. Stupid bitch should have called the ACLU. It was obvious from the beginning that the state prison board wasn't going to be of any use. They opened the prison and appointed that maniac as Warden in the first place, didn't they? Supporting Cast Big Gay Bully. This guy is the biggest guy there and has friends who will back him up. So he sets up the usual prison criminal ring - contraband, haircuts, gambling, and sex. His first victim? His young cellmate. After Burke shows his stuff, Big Gay Bully confronts him in the yard and tries to recruit him. That's when Burke goes for his balls. Wimpy Androgynous Young Fish. Young and cute and innocent, this is fresh fish on the inside. It was gonna happen. Too bad he didn't get Burke as his cellmate. Rabbit. This idiot gets everyone in trouble from the outset. I'm surprised he didn't get shivved in the yard his first day out of solitary. And getting his ass saved from being cooked alive didn't improve his attitude. Voodoo Guy. Okay, I guess they had this guy in there because they needed a sensitive who would say the word - GHOST. Big Black Guy. Isn't prison full of these? Sorry, just another cliche. He was probably the only guy in prison safe from the attentions of the Big Gay Bully. Unsurprisingly, he made friends with his cellmate, Lasagna. Lasagna. I’m not kidding. That was his name. Somehow this New Jersey punk ended up in a Wyoming prison. Actually, he tells his story and if he's that stupid, he deserves to be in prison. Anyway, Lasagna makes friends really easy. Gets along with everyone. It probably keeps him from getting raped a lot. Cresus. This is Burke's cellmate and the witness to the original crime. He recognizes Burke immediately and sees through his drunken haze the unusual events happening at the prison. He shoots himself in the foot to escape but it doesn't work - he's stuck in the film to the bitter, awful end. Captain of the Guard. Seems like a decent enough sort but no initiative. He doesn't abuse prisoners but follows insane orders because they come from the Warden. Nasty Guard. Abuses the prisoners. Gets his in the end. Story This story takes place in an abandoned, haunted prison. Due to overcrowding, the state decides to re-open this prison and moves the prisoners in before any repairs or renovations have taken place. Don't know what these poor saps did to get transferred but it couldn't have been good. The guy in charge is a warden of the old school - punish the inmates as much as possible and his word is absolute law within the walls. Among the transferred prisoners is Burke, a car thief with a noble heart who goes out of his way to retrieve contraband posters, comfort terrified fellow prisoners, and rescue men from flaming ovens. Who is this guy and why is he in prison? Fortunately for the plot, Burke is a twin to a guy executed (murdered) in that same prison over 30 years ago. Charles Forsythe, the murdered inmate, was framed for killing another inmate. In truth, the murderer was a prison guard, who also framed Forsythe, thus making him a double murderer. And there was one witness. The guard went on to become Warden Sharp. The witness was Cresus, who got an easy ride after that ... until now. This film is filled with prison cliches. Everyone is innocent. Somebody has a plan to escape. A bully runs games and services with his enforcers, while sexually abusing his young, innocent cellmate. A smartmouth makes friends with everyone. One of the prison guards is cruel and abusive. The warden is a megalomaniac. Bleeding heart liberal tries ineffectually to fix things. Hero stands up to bully and helps old man drink his hooch. Yadda yadda yadda. The action really hits when the ghost of Christmas past is released from the ancient execution room. Now, anyone who had seen The Keep could have told them it was a mistake to break through that wall, but apparently Scott Glenn wasn't around when they wrote this script. Other Director Mean to Viggo This is the only film I've heard of where Viggo criticized the director. He yelled at everybody. Renny Harlin also directed A Nightmare on Elm Street and Mindhunters. He definitely goes for the razor wire look. Goat Herder Viggo was quoted as saying that after filming finished he was thinking of going into goat herding, like his mother and her mother before her. Honeymoon in Prison Viggo and Exene were married in an old abandoned prison. I guess we know where now, huh? Repeat Appearances Tom Everett, who plays Rabbit (see above) also appears in Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. He plays the sleazy gas station guy who peeps in on the girl at the beginning. Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality/Quantity): 8 out of 10. No, he is not in every single scene in the movie. There are several without him, but the director wasn't completely out of his mind and got lots of beautiful closeups of that face. Viggo was absolutely beautiful in this film, with his darkened hair contrasting sharply with those light blue eyes. Much of the film inside the prison is too dark, and the quality of the print is a little on the low side. Nekkid Viggo : 10 out of 10. CHEST HAIR!!! OMIGOD, thick, dark, beautiful chest hair! The first thing they do when they get him in the prison is strip him down and make him go through a line. For 20 minutes all Viggo does is stand around in his underwear, being well-defined if you know what I mean. He is naked in a shower, water streaming all over his glorious body (we only see it from the chest up but use your imagination). He is placed into solitary confinement and you can see he's naked (why I don't know but WHO CARES). Viggo Sex : 0 out of 10. There is NO SEX in this movie. Nada. Zip. Except for some implied sex between Big Gay Bully and Fish. Fetish Factor : 10 out of 10. Oh let's see. Viggo in underwear for three scenes. Several hand and foot closeups. Some really great hand closeups at the beginning of the movie. Dirty feet treading through water. Bloody Viggo. Viggo behind bars. Viggo wearing handcuffs. B&W shot of Viggo as Forsythe in the newspaper. Viggo upside down on a prison cot drawing. Viggo grabbing a man's balls and twisting them. Shower scene. Clothes: 4 out of 10. Viggo looks so luminous and beautiful in closeups with the blue prison shirt that I can forgive the lack of fashion. It is a prison movie, after all. And then we have tidy whities. Yeah, I can forgive a lot for those. Viggo Sound Bytes : 4 out of 10. The dialogue was not a high point for this film but there were a couple of good lines: "You give me back my ball, I'll give you back yours." "Who you gonna believe, him or us?" - I found this line particularly laughable considering it's delivered by a convict holding a gun to the warden's head. Total Viggonness Rating: 6 out of 10 Watch it for the Viggo. Turn the sound off, you won't miss much. BACK TOP
LEATHERFACE/TCM3 (1990) Character: Tex	Want to review this film? BACK TOP
YOUNG GUNS II (1990) Character: John W. Poe	review by HermioneO Young Guns 2 is the sequel to Young Guns, the story of how Billy the Kid got his start with his group of friends fighting against the injustices of the cattle barons, who destroyed the man who took them all in and gave them a home. This movie stars three of the original gang: Emilio Estevez, Lou Diamond Phillips and Kiefer Sutherland, and brings in new stars William L. Petersen and Christian Slater. As usual, the sequel is inferior to the original, but not by much and there is another story being told here, not simply a rehashing of the same story. This sequel is about the relationship between Billy and Pat, and how Billy changes every life he touches. Viggo Mortensen is in a supporting role as the government agent John W. Poe, assigned to "assist" Pat Garret as he hunts down Billy the Kid and his gang. SPOILERS Characters John W. Poe (Viggo Mortensen) : John W. Poe is well-groomed and solid, in brown suits, gloves, and dusters. He is a government man solidly on the side of the moneyed men. Billy the Kid must be hunted down and killed, not brought back for trial at the expense of the public. He is a menace to mercantile interests. Poe obviously is a dangerous man, but he is stiff and thinks he knows everything. He may be an experienced tracker but he goes by the book too much and would never catch Billy on his own. There is some character growth here, as he goes from rank suspicion of Pat Garrett and contempt for his man to grudging acknowledgment that the man did his job. Pat Garrett (William L. Petersen): Pat Garrett is forced to hunt down his best friend and serve him up to the law. Even as he agrees to do it, he knows he will have to kill Billy the Kid because Billy will never forgive his betrayal. Ashmun Upson (Jack Kehoe) : This guy provides the comic relief for the posse chasing down Billy the Kid. Jack Kehoe portrays the delicate journalist who has to pause frequently to "make a movement." But he also saves their asses when he explains their presence on sacred Indian burial grounds and that they are chasing the ones who did the actual desecration. Story So Billy the Kid is a famous outlaw and still running around. Keifer and Lou had gone off to make their own lives but thanks to their relationship with Billy they are hunted down and dragged off to court where they will be hung by the neck until dead, no trial that I saw. Somehow they escape and reunite and manage to royally piss off James Coburn, which is a bad idea no matter what movie you're in. But this is important because it's why he's called in the government man, which is our Viggo and the only reason most of us watch this stuff. Other I actually saw this movie before I knew about Viggo. I hated Poe, but we were supposed to hate Poe and besides I had a crush on Lou Diamond at the time. Trivia: Jack Kehoe also appeared in the Gospel According to Harry, playing Harry the IRS agent. Jack was photographed by Viggo and that B&W picture appears in one of his collections. Music: Really good, memorable sound track. Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality and Quantity): 6 out of 10. Viggo's part is relatively small. There are two main leads (Billy and Pat) and then the supporting cast, which is Billy's gang and Pat's posse. Viggo is part of Pat's posse and has only a few scenes, but there are some nice closeups, and Viggo looks very masculine and solid, with a nicely groomed mustache. Since this was a large studio film, the DVD is sharp quality so it is possible to get good, clear screencaps. Nekkid Viggo : 0 out of 10. Not a single goddamn second. I mean, didn't they have public bath houses in the old west? I would think a man of Poe's obvious good grooming would take a bath when they got back from their hunt. Viggo Sex : 0 out of 10. He gets no leg in this film, not even from the hooker. He doesn't even kiss his horse or gun. Clothes: 5 out of 10. Viggo looks really good in this film. He wears solid brown suits with waistcoats and broad shoulders. He wears GLOVES and a hat too. Unfortunately nothing here is used ever again, but it looks really good. Fetish Factor : 8 out of 10. Lots of material for the fetishist. Viggo wearing a cowboy hat. Viggo on horseback. Viggo with guns. Viggo sipping tea while wearing gloves. Several closeup shots of Viggo's bare hands checking out the trail. Viggo with facial hair. Viggo Sound Bytes : 5 out of 10. Viggo has a few good lines, which says a lot because he doesn't have very many lines at all. Most famous is the taunt about Upson taking a "Movement." Then there's "Take your medicine, son." Total Viggoness rating: 4 out of 10 Viggo's role in this film is minor but potent. If you just fastforward past everything that doesn't have Viggo, then there isn't much story and it's just a visual exercise. Better off just watching clips. But if you like westerns, then watch the whole thing because it's really not a bad movie for the genre and then Viggo becomes an added treat. BACK TOP
THE REFLECTING SKIN (1990) Character: Cameron Dove	Want to review this film? BACK TOP
TRIPWIRE (1990) Character: Hans	review by HermioneO Plot Summary from IMDb : A terrorist (Warner) and an FBI agent (Knox) fight out a personal feud with one another. SPOILERS Characters Jack DeForest (Terence Knox) : Jack DeForest is a CIA agent (I think … maybe he’s ATF? Who cares?). After his wife is killed he mourns for a short time before getting close to the only female agent in the movie. Josef Szabo (David Warner) : Josef is an international terrorist working arms for drugs deals in the U.S. He keeps the business in the family, bringing his beloved younger brother along. Who knew he would get so sensitive about it when the CIA agent trying to stop him actually had to shoot back, and ended up killing the younger Szabo? Hans (Viggo Mortensen) : Hans is a second-stringer in this movie. He is one of the henchmen of the big bad, Josef. He makes his first appearance about half way through the film, silently following Josef around like a trained Doberman. Finally, near the end of the film, he has his few lines, abuses the kid, and nearly kills the hero of the film, Jack, before his stupid boss shoots him in the back. Note to arch-villains – never shoot into melee unless you WANT to kill your henchmen and let the good guy get away. Supporting Cast A bunch of people I’ve never heard of before, except for Yaphet Kotto (one of my favorite cop/spy movie character actors), and Tommy Chong (of Cheech and Chong fame and more recently a semi-regular stoned out guy on that 70s show). Story Jack kills Josef’s kid brother near the beginning of the film and Josef swears revenge. There’s your plot. Josef kills Jack’s wife and kidnaps his teen-aged son, then brainwashes him and starts using him to pull heists. Eventually, Jack tracks them down and he and his son kill all the bad guys. Yea. For those into the b-movie action flick, this film actually had some not bad reviews. It’s okay for the genre, I guess. Other Where are they now? Well, we all know what happened to Viggo, but what about the star of this movie? Actually, 1990 was about dead center of his career. Terence Knox has a long TV career, including a 3-year stint as a regular (Dr. Peter White) on St. Elsewhere and guest spots on dozens of series. His jump to the big screen just never panned out, but he’s had fairly regular work all along. David Warner has such an impressive career I really cannot encapsulate it here. I just found out he’s in the upcoming Hogfather, the screen adaptation of one of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels! I’ll throw out a few titles anyway: Tron, Time Bandits, Star Trek (movies, TV series). He doesn’t look it but Yaphet Kotto is actually older than David Warner! Wow. He’s just got great skin, I guess. He really hasn’t been seen much since the series Homicide: Life on the Streets went off the air. He’s been appearing mostly in documentaries about some of the movies he’s been in (Alien, Live and Let Die). Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality/Quantity): 2 out of 10. Viggo has a total of about 5 minutes of screen time, with no good close-ups. The quality of the video is also pretty bad, so it’s hard to get screencaps. Nekkid Viggo : 0 out of 10. He’s not the star. Hell, even the star … wait a minute. I fast-forwarded through the whole thing but there was a bed scene between the star and a female agent, I think. Maybe a chest shot. But it wasn’t Viggo so it doesn’t count. Viggo Sex : 0 out of 10. Viggo gets nothing in this film. Henchmen don’t get nookie. Fetish Factor : 3 out of 10. While this is a very small role, Viggo makes an appearance during one segment in camo. He’s in disguise. Also, has guns and uses them. Cute German accent for his few lines. Wrestles teen-age boy, threatening to snap his neck. Clothes: 2 out of 10. Again, minor character so not a lot of clothing, but he wears this horizontal striped shirt that makes another appearance in Boiling Point (1993) and in the kitty stroking pics taken by Lindsay Brice. Viggo Sound Bytes : 2 out of 10. “I vill snap your neck like a tvig!” Total Viggonness Rating: 1.5 out of 10 Clips are available for viewing online. Don’t waste your money unless, like me, you have to own every movie Viggo’s ever been in. BACK TOP
ONCE IN A BLUE MOON(1990) Character: Delroy	review by HermioneO Once in a Blue Moon Release Date: 1990 Plot Summary from IMDB: IMDB does not give a plot summary for this film. Pregnant angel returns to Earth for a second chance. SPOILERS Characters Jack (Jeff Silverman): Bald, fat fanboy. Worships Delroy – there is a shrine in his apartment. Minnie Mae Weeks (Shawn Modrell): Pregnant fangirl angel. Her boyfriend killed her and she ended up in heaven, where her boyfriend also ended up (never satisfactorily explained). Anyway, her ex is now a bodyguard for Delroy and since he kind of owes her he gets her in to see Delroy alone. Delroy (Viggo Mortensen): Delroy is a dead rockstar played by Viggo. Yes, he starts off this movie dead. He is now in heaven where he still performs, is surrounded by admirers, and apparently still has the wherewithal to impregnate his worshiping fans. Sorta gives ya hope, huh? Story A woman is killed by her boyfriend who is jealous about her crush on a dead rock star. She meets the rockstar in heaven and has an affair with him and becomes pregnant with his love child. She is sent back to earth during a Blue Moon to find a worthy human to take her in and raise her child. She selects an aging, bald, fat loser who worships the same rockstar – his home is a shrine to the guy. Other Other Viggo Connections They didn’t let Viggo sing for himself in this movie, but they brought in John Doe to fill his vocal shoes. Some of the B&W stills shown in Jack’s apartment are obviously from Bruce Weber photo shoots that have since made it into magazines. Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality/Quantity): 2 out of 10. This film is only 28 minutes, and Viggo is on screen for about 3 minutes total out of that. The film quality is poor – this was made for TV originally – and Viggo’s shots are soft-focus and deliberately poorly lit. There are no close-ups. Nekkid Viggo: 0 out of 10. Viggo does not get nekkid. Viggo Sex: 0 out of 10. Viggo has no sex except implied off-screen. Fetish Factor: 3 out of 10. Viggo dancing, Viggo in leopard print. Viggo as an Elvis-lookalike. Viggo in black and white (stills seen throughout the fan’s apartment – some of them are from the early Bruce Weber shoot). Clothes: 2 out of 10. Two words: Leopard Print. Viggo Sound Bytes: 0 out of 10. Viggo never speaks and does not sing for himself – it’s John Doe instead. Total Viggonness Rating: 1.2 out of 10 This short film is only available in a UK DVD collection (PAL formatted). It’s one of those quirky little features that only appeals to a limited audience, or to none at all. I didn’t much care for it, and I would only recommend getting this collection if you either have to have a complete Viggo collection or you really like short films, or if you collect obscure John Doe stuff. BACK TOP
THE INDIAN RUNNER (1991) Character: Frank Roberts	Want to review this film? BACK TOP
BOILING POINT (1993) Character: Ronnie	review by HermioneO This is not a great film and I hesitate to call it good, but it's not really that bad either. I have heard some folks say this was one of those films he did just for the money, when he ran out of options. I used to agree, but now I'm rethinking that. First, this film was released in 1993, along with several other Viggo movies. He wasn't hurting for work. Second, this project allowed him to work with a man he'd worked with before - Dennis Hopper - someone he considered to be a friend. Third - I can see where the script may have looked very interesting, and the final film came out differently from what he expected. It happens all the time. Basic Plot: It's conmen and killers vs the feds while everybody tries to deal with their relationships outside the job. SPOILERS The Characters: Red Diamond (Dennis Hopper) : Wesley Snipes gets first billing on this film because he was a rising star at the time, but I really feel Dennis Hopper stole the whole show. He was the most interesting thing on the screen and whenever he was in a scene it was hard not to watch him. This was Dennis Hopper at his best. This character, Red Diamond, is one I don't think I'll be forgetting any time soon. Red is a veteran conman who has been in prison several times and is just getting out from a 5-year stretch. He has a problem in that he owes $50,000 to a big-bad who wants his money now or yesterday. I don't think that was very reasonable of the man - how did he expect the guy to come up with that kind of money so quickly? So Red is desperate to get cash quick and comes up with several plans to do so. At the same time, he wants to get back together with his wife, Mona (I hope that's her name, I may not be remembering it correctly), and make a big enough score that they can retire in comfort. Dennis Hopper plays this guy up to the max, with broad, twitchy hand gestures, catch phrases ("And that is no lie") and shoes 30 years out of fashion. Wesley Snipes : I've already forgotten the character's name he was so stereotypical and forgettable. Treasury agent whose partner was killed so he wants revenge. Add to that the typical ex-wife who divorced him because the life was impossible, and their young son. She's trying to move on and he won't let go. You see why she left him when he keeps showing up in the middle of the night and expects to see his son and talk with her. He also has a sort of relationship with a hooker (Vikki Dunbar) who doesn't mind his schedule. He's a loose cannon known for working outside the system and it got his partner killed, so now he's in trouble. He's going to be transferred to the stix in one week, so that's all the time he has to solve this case and get revenge. Can we add any more stereotypes to this character? Not without a crowbar. Vikki Dunbar (Lolita Davidovitch): This hooker with a heart of gold makes no apologies for her profession and provides an unnecessary link between Red Diamond and Wesley Snipes. Red hires her to dance with him at a 40s dance club called the Palace. Snipes just has sex with her and ignores everything she says. He actually sees Red with her and doesn't realize who he is. Mona (Valeri Perrine) : Valeri Perrine plays a tired but sadly pretty mature woman making a living as a waitress when Red Diamond struts back into her life. She apparently prostituted herself for him at one point - to pay off his debts. She knows exactly what kind of man he is but of course can't say no when he asks her out. But after they have sex one last time she tells him to leave and this time she means it. Yeah, sure. Carole (Christine Elise) : I hope I have her name right. It appears on a name tag on her uniform. This is Ronnie's girlfriend who has been out of jail only a month herself when she comes home from her menial job (either waitressing or cleaning by the uniform) to find Ronnie waiting in her apartment. She tells him to leave but does she really mean it? I don't think so. More later. Ronnie (Viggo Mortensen) : Ronnie is a very simple man. He kills without hesitation and believes anything Red tells him. He comes across as not very intelligent in his scenes with Red, as though the older man has some sort of hypnotic effect on him. Otherwise, he is very perceptive and even subtle at times. He has a simple relationship with his girlfriend and obviously knows exactly what she wants. In a scene with one of the targets of Red's schemes he holds his own in negotiations and manages to soothe both his and the carrier's fears. He is quick on the draw and comes up with pretty slick tactics on his own, on the violent end of things. It seems only when Red enters the picture he suspends judgment and lets the conman do the thinking. Dan Hedaya, Paul Gleason - supporting cast of character actors who do a good job. Story Red Diamond and Ronnie are two ex-cons who have just gotten out of prison and are trying to drum up some investment capital for some money-making scheme Red has. Over the course of the film we find out that the two met in prison and Red sort of took Ronnie under his wing and started making all these plans in anticipation of their release. No details are given, but you can bet Ronnie protected Red from the usual bullies while Red steered Ronnie clear of complications and kept him out of trouble so his sentence wouldn't get extended. Red is great at manipulating soft-headed Ronnie but most of the other people in this film see right through him - especially those who have the money. He can run a small-time con but no one wants to trust him. This makes him desperate enough to use Ronnie in a few one-shot swindles where he effectively ensures he will never be able to deal with people again. They set up some sort of deal where someone is supposed to give them money for goods they have - like counterfeit money or drugs - and they don't really have anything. Ronnie kills the delivery man and takes the money and that's it. Unfortunately, the first person they do this with is actually an undercover treasury agent, Snipes' partner. When they kill him, they ensure the police will hunt them down no matter what. Red is oblivious to this and assures Ronnie the police won't be hunting anyone down because their victim was just another sleazeball thief. This is the first scene and it sets up the whole film. Immediately following it, the film splits into three subplots, all about the relationships these men have with the women in their lives. This is what I noticed in screencapping and went back so I could see it in live action again. I began to think that the screenplay for this film began with one concept and got changed by the powers that be in Hollywood. There are three parallel relationship stories, like a Woody Allen film or the guy who did Shortcuts (I think). First, you have the man-woman relationships: The three main ones are Snipes/Ex-wife, Red/Mona and Ronnie/Carole. Each of these three relationships is broken somehow. Snipes has been thrown out by a wife who has had enough of his impossible schedule and lifestyle. She just wants a stable home for her child and herself, and Snipes can't or won't give it to her. In the other two, you have two ends of the same relationship - Ronnie and Carole are just at the beginning. They know each other and have established their own language. Carole protests she doesn't want Ronnie but I don't see her walking out and calling the police or yelling for help. It's a game they play together, where she yells at him for a while until he flares up and slaps her but it gets her all excited. And when he's holding her up against the wall and telling her she doesn't want him to leave, just who is closing the door? Ronnie's hands are occupied. I suppose he could be nudging it closed with his foot but I didn't get that from his body language. I think she was closing the door. Mona and Red are at the other end of that relationship. She knows every move, every word, every charming line Red has. She can quote him. Does it make her immune to whatever they've got going between them? No. In the end, she falls for him again. And in the end, as usual, he fails her. These are all failed relationships, but the film fails to wrap up the Carole/Ronnie loop. I think this is because they forgot what story they were telling. In addition, you have Red/Vikki and Snipes/Vikki. As the hooker, Vikki knows the vices of men and has no illusions about them, and yet she still holds out hope for Snipes. I'm not sure where to fit this character in, or if she was written in as an afterthought. She just doesn't fit. There was no real conversation between her and Snipes so there was no exposition. Red could have danced with Mona instead and I think it would have made the ending more poignant, with Mona all tricked out in her blue dancing dress watching the love of her life get taken away, again, by the police. At this point I think the Vikki character was totally unnecessary and I wonder if Lolita was involved with someone connected to the film. This film tries to do too many things. It could have been a film about relationships but the whole treasury agent vendetta plot got too much attention (I think because of Snipes) and so they did a half-assed job on both. Other Notes Music Listen to the music for this film, especially the 40s style song Dream at the opening and closing credits. It's almost worth watching the film just for that music. Red spends the whole film trying to relive his glory days of money-making schemes, and that mood is captured in the music. Repeat Appearances This film has no less than THREE actors who have appeared in other Viggo movies. Of course you all know Dennis Hopper (Indian Runner, 1991) and probably most of you know Cristine Elise (Vanishing Point, 1997), but how many of you knew about Dan Hedaya (Daylight, 1996)? Viggoness Ratings Viggo On-Screen (Quantity and Quality): 7 out of 10. While not in every scene, Viggo is 4th billed and has a lot of quality screen time. The video is sharp, so the closeups are especially good. Nekkid Viggo : 0 out of 10. There is absolutely no nekkid Viggo in this film. Viggo Sex : 2 out of 10. Viggo doesn't really get any sex in this film. At least, not on-screen. He slaps his girlfriend, which along with arguing appears to be foreplay for them. You see him leaning in for the kiss as the door is closing. He actually lays lips on his shotgun, but that's it. There is sex between other characters but they're not important. Fetish Factor : 6 out of 10. Viggo kisses his sawed-off shotgun, is into rough sex, wears a really weird tee-shirt in one scene, and there are a few good closeups of just his hands. He chews gum in the opening scene and uses the gum to stick a sign on the pay phone. We get to see Viggo dance for a few seconds too. Clothes: 8 out of 10. Viggo spends almost the whole movie in tight pants and tight, chest-defining tee-shirts, including the white and blue horizontal stripe tee that he wore for those kitty-stroking pics taken by Lindsay Brice. The mustard-yellow leather jacket he wears in most of the film he later wears in A Perfect Murder as well. He wears a green cotton button shirt with two pockets layered under the mustard yellow leather jacket and over a black or dark blue shirt in the final heist. He wears this same green shirt in 1999 at the Recent Forgeries reading at City Lights. There is a tee-shirt with some weird creature on the front and I am trying to find out if he wore it elsewhere or what the origin of that shirt was. You just KNOW it was a Viggo contribution. Looked like a bootleg concert tee. In his final scene he wears a yellow blazer in the zoot-suit style - oversized with broad, padded shoulders. Viggo Sound Bytes 4 out of 10. Ronnie is portrayed as none too swift, if you get my meaning, so his lines aren't all that great. However, he has one zinger in the scene where he's setting up a counterfiet money buy. The money man is suspicious and has been rude to Ronnie, and Ronnie asks him if he's going to be the one bringing the money, and the guy says hell no. Ronnie says something like, "That's a shame, I'd feel better if it was you." And he sort of smiles and there's a bit of a laugh in his voice. Of course, you know he's already planning to kill the delivery guy and this is just so cold and casual. Overall Viggoness Rating: 4.5 out of 10 Not one of Viggo's better films or characters, but far from the worst. BACK TOP
RUBY CAIRO/DECEPTION (1993) Character: Johnny Faro	Review by HermioneO Ruby Cairo Release Date: 1993 IMDB Plot Summary: When Bessie Faro's husband Johnny dies in a plane crash in Veracruz, Mexico, she finds that his air cargo business is deeply in the red. When she visits the airline's terminal in Veracruz, she discovers her husband was pumping large amounts of money into bank accounts all over the world. As she begins systematically recovering her husband's money, she discovers that someone else has beat her to some of the accounts. Aided by Fergus Lamb, a chance acquaintance, she goes to Cairo to find some answers. But she is being followed. SPOILERS The Characters: Johnny Faro (Viggo Mortensen) : This con-man romanced and won Bessie, then left her with their kids and a ton of bills to pay when he faked his death in a staged airplane crash. She finds him living it up in Cairo, with a big house and his own harem. Johnny looks great in both his incarnations – clean cut with lovable Viggo teeth, and long-haired, full bearded looking like Jesus when confronted in a mosque. He is sleazy, unrepentant and seductive, taking what he wants from the women in his life and expecting them to just go along with it. On the whole, this is one of my least favorite Viggo characters, but the sex scene makes up for a lot. Bessie Faro (Andie MacDowell) : I woulda’ left her too. Okay, she at least shows that she knows her husband by figuring out his code and retrieving a lot of the fortune he stashed away. It can’t be easy finding out your husband faked his death and then, when you confront him, the bastard asks about his baseball before he ever mentions his kids. Fergus Lamb (Liam Neeson) : I’m not sure why this guy is even in the film. Except it’s always nice to see Liam – I would have preferred to have seen more skin, like in Rob Roy. Story This is another film where Viggo’s character starts off dead (he was dead in Once in a Blue Moon), only here we find out he’s not really dead. Bessie’s husband faked his own death to get away from her. Some folks might think he did it to take the money and run from his business partners, but it was actually to get away from Bessie. Ask any Viggo fan. Most of the film is devoted to her finding all this out and hunting him down by traveling across the world. The most important bits happen in the last 20 minutes, where she finds her dead husband still alive, has sex with him, and gets him killed. Then she goes and parties with the neighbors. Other Notes Censorship and the Power of Andie MacDowell Miss MacDowell didn’t want her goodies shown on U.S. screens, so the version shown in the states was cut by 20 minutes in order to eliminate the gaping plot hole left by the lack of a love scene. This butchered version is called Deception. In Deception, Johnny appears in two flashbacks, one after she finds out about his death and the other after she figures out his bank code. In Ruby Cairo, the second flashback doesn’t occur until after she confronts Johnny in Cairo, while they’re having sex. Repeat Appearances Liam Neeson is another alumnus of Miami Vice (1986). Other Viggo Connections Andie MacDowell’s big screen debut was in Greystoke: the Legend of Tarzan. Viggo lost out on the title role in that 1984 film to Christopher Lambert. Jack Thompson was in Original Sin, which Viggo pulled out of because of his commitments to the LOTR films. Viggoness Ratings Viggo On-Screen (Quantity and Quality): 4 out of 10. Viggo has a major secondary role in this film but all we see of him for the most part is through filmy flashbacks, until near the end of the film when the mysterious and elusive Johnny is finally cornered. Once there, Viggo is sexy and sleazy and short lived. Unfortunately, the sex scene, much sought after by deprived U.S. audiences, is only available outside of the U.S., and the copies we can get are dark and poor quality compared to Deception. Nekkid Viggo : 4 out of 10. We get great hairy chest and side views clear down to the quarter moon tattoo, as well as great back. Viggo Sex : 7 out of 10. He has one nekkid sex scene and one early make-out scene fully clothed. This is not a very likeable character but there’s always plain animal magnetism. This is one of Viggo’s earliest fairly graphic sex scenes (the other is from the Gospel According to Harry, filmed and released in the same year as Ruby Cairo). The details of this sex scene were deleted from Deception, the inferior version of this movie released in the U.S. When Viggo fans discuss the “flip,” this is the scene they mean. It is followed up very soon by “the thrust.” Fetish Factor : 4 out of 10. Facial hair. Viggo with Hollywood teeth (they’re dentures). Viggo with animals (pet bird and black cat). Viggo with a gun. Hand sex. Viggo wearing a baseball cap. Clothes: 5 out of 10. Tan pants! Tan Pants! Was this the role that originated that yell? Johnny is seen in everything from a tight tee-shirt and baseball cap to silky middle-eastern shirts. In the title sequence, clean-shaven Johnny wears that soft white and blue corderoy shirt later worn in Passion of Darkly Noon and Vanishing Point, as well as Odense. Also in that sequence, there is a snapshot of Johnny with sideburns and short hair, wearing a red plaid shirt with short sleeves. That same shirt was worn in Indian Runner by gorgeous Frankie on the morning after his first fight at the bar, while riding a bike and smoking and wearing shades. Viggo Sound Bytes 4 out of 10. “You belong to me.” Who wouldn’t want to hear Viggo say those words? Egyptian or whatever it is he’s speaking. Viggo speaks a phrase or two in the local language and it’s always good to listen to Viggo speaking in a foreign tongue. “C’mon, we’re goin’ upstairs.” Whatever you say, Vig. “Half the people on Earth would be better off dead.” “You’re my girl. You belong to me.” Overall Viggoness Rating: 4.7 out of 10 This wasn’t that good a movie even with the sex scenes. Rumor has it there was supposed to be a really interesting story in the original script, but between one thing and another all the good stuff got left out. This certainly isn’t among the worst of Viggo’s films, but it rests solidly in the mediocre range. BACK TOP
CARLITO'S WAY (1993) Character: Lalin	review by HermioneO IMDb Plot Summary: Carlito Brigante is released from jail on a technicality after serving five years of a much longer stretch. He vows to go straight and live life as a fine, upstanding citizen. He even rekindles a romance with his ex-lover. However, Carlito's associates cannot seem to leave him in peace: his nephew involves him in a pool-room gunfight, his lawyer asks him for "favors" which spiral out of control, and even an old friend (now a wheelchair-bound paraplegic) wears a wire to trap him. Carlito decides to make a run for Florida and the promise of a new life, but has one final dramatic escape to make from some hoods who believe (wrongly) that he was behind the murder of their boss. SPOILERS The Characters: Lalin (Viggo Mortensen) : In a bit of irony, Carlito remembers Lalin (pronounced lah-leen ) as a standup guy. In a flashback, Lalin is shown wearing a velveteen magenta lounge lizard suit with huge sideburns, and is portrayed as a smooth-talking, good-looking lady’s man. Then Carlito gets a look at Lalin through his office door and is stunned as the camera pans right, and we finally see the greasy wretch in his wheel chair, snorting something as he waits. Lalin was sent up for 30 years (though what he did to get such a sentence is never explained) and, like Carlito, has gotten out early. One might think it’s out of mercy for a man who obviously can no longer survive in a prison environment. However, we learn later it is because he has made a deal with the DA to try to trap Carlito with a revealing conversation while wearing a wire. Lalin is pathetic and a little nauseating, with his whining and wheedling and obvious attempt to get Carlito to admit to some sort of criminal activity. Even his clothes are a far cry from his old lothario days, with his ugly polyester print shirt and grey velour jacket with yellowish tobacco stains. On top of that he wears diapers. Ya know, Viggo once claimed that a surprising skill he had was changing diapers. I for one assumed he meant diapers on a baby … Carlito (Al Pacino) : Carlito is an aging former criminal who has been really lucky to get out so quickly. He really does want to get out, but it’s just not that easy. David Kleinfeld (Sean Penn) : David Kleinfeld is Carlito’s lawyer who gets him sprung on a technicality, so of course the DA has a major hard-on to get him as well as Carlito. Gail (Penelope Ann Miller) : This is the ex-girlfriend who wants Carlito out of the crime business, and for her he’ll do it. Pachanga (Luis Guzman) : Why does he always play greasy slimeballs? Supporting Cast: John Leguizamo, Ingrid Rogers, James Rebhorn, Joseph Siravo, Richard Foronjy, Jorge Porcel, Frank Minucci, Adrian Pasdar, John Ortiz, Angel Salazar. Story A lot of folks consider this to be an underrated film, often given short shrift because of comparisons with another Pacino/Scorcese film, Scarface. Viggo’s part in this film is short but very juicy. He comes in about an hour into the 2.5 hour movie, as a character from Carlito’s past who he trusts implicitly. His betrayal is a heavy blow to Carlito, but he also plays the vital part of reminding Carlito of his old girlfriend, la rubia, and telling him where she can be found. After he fulfils this role, you never hear from him again. This is one of the most pathetic, unattractive characters Viggo has ever portrayed (for my money only Jerome Stample from Salvation is worse). Other Notes Phouque The word "phuk" is said a total of 139 times. This doesn’t really have anything to do with Viggo but I thought I’d include it anyway. Repeat Appearances Sean Penn directed Viggo in what was his finest performance until History of Violence (Indian Runner, 1991). Other Viggo Connections Both Viggo and Al Pacino have played the Devil. Sean Penn was born in Santa Monica, which is where Viggo’s publishing house is located. Sean actually starred in the Thin Red Line, the film that gave special thanks to everyone, including Viggo. John Leguizamo starred in To Wong Foo, which Viggo auditioned for but did not get (he was going for the Patrick Swayze role). John was also in three episodes of Miami Vice (1986, 1987 and 1989). Luis Guzman is another Miami Vice alum (1985, 1986). James Rebhorn appeared in the soap Search for Tomorrow in 1985 (same year as Viggo) and 1986. Fanboy Viggo Viggo is such a San Lorenzo fanboy! He used colored tape to decorate his wheelchair in alternating blue and red stripes. Viggoness Ratings Viggo On-Screen (Quantity and Quality): 3 out of 10. Viggo’s part is very short and almost unrecognizable. Lalin is one of Viggo’s least desirable characters (but did that stop me?). Nekkid Viggo : 0 out of 10. Considering how greasy and pathetic Lalin is, we probably don’t really want to see him nekkid. Viggo Sex : 1 out of 10. Well … he says the word “hump,” the only time in recorded film where Viggo says the word “hump.” I’ll give that a 1 just on general principles. Fetish Factor : 4 out of 10. The kink factor really rides the edge here. But … well, he’s wearing diapers. Viggo in a wheelchair. Viggo smoking. Viggo drinking. Viggo getting slapped around. Viggo with a whiney pathetic Puerto Rican accent. Viggo with facial hair. Long hair Viggo. Blonde pimp Viggo (in the flashback). Clothes: 2 out of 10. Don’t ever want to see him in a tobacco-stained grey velour suit again. Ever. In a flashback just before we see the new and improved Lalin, he wears a magenta velvet or lamè (sp?) smoking jacket as the pimp/host of a men’s club. Viggo Sound Bytes 4 out of 10. Lalin gets one big rant, after his duplicity has been exposed and Carlito is slapping him around with a gun. “Look what I got! I mean look at me! You got everything, man! Come on! Look what I got to fucking go around with, fucking diapers! I shit my pants everyday! I can't walk, I can't hump ... you know? Go ahead and kill me, you COCKSUCKER!” Just hearing him say cocksucker and hump in the same line is worth watching the film. The diapers … not so much. Overall Viggoness Rating: 2.3 out of 10 Viggo gets about 5 minutes of screen time in his short but juicy scene with one of the legends of modern American cinema (that would be Al Pacino for those who weren’t paying attention). He is memorable enough that Lalin is mentioned in almost every review I’ve ever read of this movie. Carlito’s Way was not a successful film but has long been a favorite of Al Pacino fans, who claim it was underrated because it was unfairly compared to Scarface. For us, that would be like comparing Hidalgo to LOTR. There is no comparison, but that doesn’t mean Hidalgo was a bad movie. BACK TOP
THE YOUNG AMERICANS (1993) Character: Carl Frazer	review by HermioneO IMDb Plot Summary: The London police are having trouble with organized crime committed by juvenile delinquents. Their leader is an American who is an expert at turning young men into ruthless gangsters. American cop John Harris is asked to help the London police to break up the organization. SPOILERS Characters Carl Frazer (Viggo Mortensen) : Carl is a drug dealer from the U.S., taking his business overseas where the pickings are supposedly easier. The police in the U.S. have nearly caught him once too often so he’s cooling off abroad. He finds the London scene easy pickings, a big fish in a little pond. He seduces the disaffected youths in the area, who for whatever reason think Americans are cool and tough and seek to emulate Carl. He plays up to this, recruiting young men to do his dirty work, and starts systematically taking out any local organized crime bosses who refuse to deal with him. Carl is smooth and seductive with his young men, cool and friendly with his peers, and brutally savage to the women in his employ. John Harris (Harvey Keitel) : John is an agent with a drug task force in the U.S. that had nearly caught the elusive Carl Frazer before he crossed the Atlantic. He chases his prey to London, coming in to assist Scotland Yard who apparently cannot handle one lone drug dealer. As a background to his character, this officer of the law has the stereotypical broken home life and makes phone calls to his ex wife while in London. Story Young Americans was apparently the forerunner to a bunch of similar movies set in London in the 1990s – all about the Americanization of organized crime families in the London area. I like how this one dealt with it – the head of the most powerful London family guns down Frazer, the impertinent American, while he’s distracted with the police. Works for me. Frazer comes to London to sell his drugs when things get too hot for him in the U.S. He seduces local juvenile delinquents into killing his opposition for him. He uses them up, then eliminates them when they are no longer useful – like when they get arrested. Frazer has a partner in an ambitious local club owner who wants to rise in power and will sell out to a foreign interest to do it. He gets arrogant as he sees his former peers eliminated one by one. But he goes too far when he fingers his own cousin for elimination – just because the guy isn’t into the whole crime family thing and wants to be left out of it. That’s when his second cousin – the loving son – gets involved and becomes a mole for the police. Craig Kelly plays Chris O’Neil, the promising scion of a crime family who wasn’t really in things until his father, also not involved, is killed as punishment for talking bad about his criminal cousin. Chris is well-liked, and his cousin is thrilled when he comes forward to work at his club, indicating he wants to be “part of things.” Carl Frazer, the silent American partner, takes an instant licking to Chris, taking him out for a ride in his snazzy car and inviting him to a private party. Carl knows how to throw a party – lots of naked and nearly naked women, freely available drugs, and an oversized hot tub. All his boys are there and Carl encourages them to have fun, and shows them how to handle women – ya gotta be firm. Chris has a hottie girlfriend, played by Thandie Newton, who encourages him to stay out of things and fights with him when he appears to be in them after all. He warns her to stay away from the club when he knows the police are going to raid. But making the typical boyfriend mistake, he doesn’t tell her why, so she of course goes anyway. Thus, and this is vitally important, she is there to be the helpless female held at gunpoint when Carl Frazer is trapped. But not to worry, because the local crime boss is there to nail Frazer from behind. All’s well that ends well. Other Where are they now? There were some impressive nobodies in this film. Thandie Newton , who plays the girlfriend held hostage at the end, went on to play the scheming Dame Vaako in the Chronicles of Riddick, and did a turn in Crash, the 2006 Best Picture winner (Thandie won best supporting actress from the BAFTA awards). Ian Glen had villainous roles in Lara Croft: Tom Raider and Resident Evil, and was Richard the Lion Heart in Kingdom of Heaven. Viggo Mortensen later starred in a little fantasy movie that launched him into a career as a cowboy, where he got to costar with the lovely and talented TJ. Harvey Keitel has made a fantastic career out of gritty, juicy characters. Trivia During one of the club scenes, a remix of Nine Inch Nails' "Gave Up" is playing. This version has never been released officially or unofficially and the only know fragment can be heard in this movie. It appears to be an alteration of the remix found on NIN's EP "Fixed." Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality and Quantity): 4 out of 10. Viggo’s character is a mysterious, sinister villain always in shadows. Therefore, those few times he appears on screen, his face is often cloaked. Lousy for screencapping. Nekkid Viggo : 0 out of 10. Carl doesn’t even take off his jacket. Viggo Sex : 0 out of 10. A room full of hookers and he doesn’t so much as unzip. Clothes: 4 out of 10. Carl has a good sense of style but the film is so shadowy it’s hard to appreciate it. In the scene where he comes to the club and meets Chris for the first time, and on through to his party, he's wearing a dark red shirt under that jacket. If you take a screencap and lighten it, this shirt may well be the red shag shirt he also wears in American Yakuza, Passion of Darkly Noon, A Perfect Murder and A Walk on the Moon. It cannot be confirmed positively because of how dark the movie is, but I am as sure as I can be. Fetish Factor : 5 out of 10. Viggo smoking, Viggo in darkness, Viggo chewing gum, Viggo getting rough with a woman, Viggo with a gun. Viggo Sound Bytes : 4 out of 10. Viggo plays up the seducer in this flick, so his voice is a sexy burr when he speaks. “I never worry Jack. Makes me look ugly.” "Come on fellows, loosen up. You make me look bad. It's a party. You want something, take it. It's free." Viggo also has an incongruous giggle in one scene. Total Viggoness rating: 2.8 out of 10 Viggo’s minor role is sexy but not on screen enough. While overall the movie isn’t too bad, unless you’re into the genre (sexy, slick crime drama with a soundtrack), it’s only worth getting if you have to own every Viggo movie. On the plus side, it’s not too hard to get. BACK TOP
EWANGELIA WEDLUG HARRY'EGO AKA THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO HARRY(1993) Character: Wes	review by HermioneO IMDb Plot Summary: The film is a biblical soap-opera whose action unfolds in the Californian desert. Karen and Wes's marriage is crumbling apart - like a sandcastle. Karen can't even make love to her husband any more - the sand has managed to get everywhere. Harry, a tax collector, is a witness to this marriage falling apart. As a civil servant he hears Wes confession. However he isn't able to help him. The omnipotent eye of television glitters above the desert - that raw allegory of America where neither the white nor the black have it good. If Samuel Beckett and Joan Collins had a romance, then their child would look like this film. This movie was released in 1993. It was filmed in Poland in a desert, but was supposed to be set in California in the near future, after the Oceans receded due to some ecological disaster or possibly nuclear war. Think Tank Girl for a similar effect. It is actually in English - the actors speak English, it is not dubbed. But it was produced in Poland and is usually seen with Polish subtitles. I've seen clips that are dubbed in Polish as well, and the dubbing is done over the English so you can hear the actors speaking English and then the Polish obscures it. This is a surreal, very political film. SPOILERS Characters Wes (Viggo Mortensen) : A golden-bronzed adonis who spends his whole day either in bed or playing golf, when he isn't answering questions from the IRS guy. He is totally passive, hating the world as it is but unable or unwilling to do anything about it. He has lost all hope and anchored his heart and reason to exist on his marriage and relationship with Karen. Karen (Jennifer Rubin) : Tall, brunette and beautiful, Karen apparently has a job and supports herself and Wes. She wants to have a child - all her friends have had children and she wants one too. She leaves Wes when they argue about it, but comes back after he gives in. She cheats on Wes with a government security guy there for the president's visit, which makes her one of my least favorite Viggo love interests. Harry (Jack Kehoe) : Harry is an IRS agent who comes to talk to Wes about taxes he owes from a few years ago. Wes protests that he paid his taxes and has proof, but can't find it. Harry, in the guise of being helpful, guides Wes through all the paperwork he has to fill out to save his ass. Since the end result is to hand over his property to the government so they can drill for water, I suspect his motives were not pure. Story Wes and Karen live in what is supposed to be an apartment. I don't know if there is a name for this style but there are no walls, all around you see the desert, and their furniture is set up as though for an apartment, complete with bed, desk, computer, TV, two refrigerators, and sink. Didn't see a shower or toilet, though. The wind blows almost constantly and sand gets in everything. We open with Karen VACUUMING and Wes fiddling around with a golf club. There are lots of religious references too but I'm not too up on the symbolism aside from nailing that prophet sort of guy to a cross. The film attacks taxes, government, health insurance, environmental policies - you name it. Karen wants to have children and Wes can't understand why she would want to bring an innocent life into their awful world. Did I mention that the sand gets into everything? I mean EVERYTHING. Karen complains about it to a friend and her advice is to deal with it, it can't be helped, and it's the only way to have children. In spite of the pain of the sand, Karen has sex with Wes, and then later cheats on him with a government agent, breaking his heart and causing his death. For that alone, I will never forgive her. The guy wasn't even hot. Other Repeat Appearances Jack Kehoe also appeared in Young Guns II as the journalist who traveled with the posse in pursuit of Billy and the gang. He is comic relief with his periodic need to "make a movement." Jack was also photographed by Viggo and that B&W picture appears in one of his collections. Music The music in this film has been described as haunting by some, and there is a soundtrack shown on the Internet, but I don’t know anyone who has purchased it. Viggo Near Death Experience During the filming Viggo, as he often does, chose to camp out in the natural surroundings of the dunes of the Polish desert. While out wandering one morning he fell into a sand trap and would have died if his girlfriend hadn't called for help. Viggonness Ratings Viggo Screen Time (Quality and Quantity): 8 out of 10. He's there almost the whole time and there are some gorgeous closeups. He's absolutely shaggable. He has golden blond hair and light scruff and is deeply tanned. I would give this rating a 10; however, I have yet to find a good, sharp print of this film. Usually it has been copied off of a TV broadcast and is slightly blurry. Nekkid Viggo : 5 out of 10. We get some chest and lots of back and side and even a peek at leg and thigh. Viggo Sex : 8 out of 10. He does it on screen, modestly draped by a sheet. This is preceded by a pretty hot kiss. There is a hokey explosion at the "climax," but the use of the bars of the headboard for traction make up for it. Plus graphic pumping action. Clothes: 2 out of 10. The white pants look good on him but clothing is really not emphasized in this film. There is nothing here that is re-used in his other films or worn later in his life. Fetish Factor : 3 out of 10. There's really not that much. Viggo fondles a golf club almost the whole time. He is barefoot but you hardly ever see his feet. Brass headboard used to GREAT effect. Viggo's face framed by brass bars. He spends a LOT of time in bed. Dead Viggo for you necros out there. Viggo Sound Bytes : 0 out of 10. Viggo didn’t have any memorable lines. Karen cries out "Not so hard! Not so hard!" when they're having sex. But she actually means it. Total Viggoness rating: 4.3 out of 10 This film is worth seeing for Viggo's shining golden gorgiosity, even if you aren't into surreal political post-modern stuff. BACK TOP
FLOUNDERING (1994) Character: Homeless Man	Want to review this film? BACK TOP
THE CREW (1994) Character: Phillip	review by HermioneO IMDb Summary: Reluctantly Bill agrees to spend a weekend on his brother-in-law's boat in the Bahamas. But he and his wife are not the only invited passengers, and instead of a few relaxing days at sea Bill experiences something that shakes his whole existence. This movie is never gonna win any awards, but if you’re in the mood for beer and popcorn and a few laughs, the Crew is not a waste of time. SPOILERS The Characters: Phillip (Viggo Mortensen) : Phillip is an asshole and he freely admits it with a note of pride in his voice. He’s a successful lawyer who just bought a luxury yacht (probably costs more than I make in five years).and wants to show it off. He has invited his married sister and her lover along for the ride, and hired a hooker to see to his own needs. What a guy, huh? When he sees a burning boat with people in distress, he doesn’t want to stop to help them. Even better. He’s also extremely homophobic and a bigot, and based on his gestures he is probably repressing his own sexuality. This could be why he doesn’t have a girlfriend and needs to bring a hired companion for the weekend. Phillip has some shady clients, the kind who deal in large amounts of cash, who have chosen to place a lot of that cash in hiding on Phillip’s boat, the Retainer. Nice little joke, huh? This makes Phillip a lot more jumpy than even his anal nature would normally indicate. Jennifer Pierce (Pamela Gidley) : Phillip’s sister is cut largely from the same cloth. She is cheating on her husband, Bill, with a loser musician and got along better with Bill’s asshole father than she ever did with Bill. She uses the excuse that Bill has closed off from her for the past 3 months while in mourning over his mother’s suicide to justify her infidelity. It still doesn’t account for her poor taste. Maybe I’m just old fashioned but I would think you’d give the supposed love of your life a few months to get over the devastating death of his beloved mother. Bill Pierce (Donal Logue) : Bill is a sensitive, depressed writer who is just coming out of deep mourning for his mother, who killed herself in the opening scene on the DVD, thus setting up the whole damn film. Wonder why they cut it from the VHS copy? Bill has been a little clueless, but he catches on pretty quick during the boat trip that something is going on between his wife and the loser musician. He is of a more liberal cut than his father and inlaws and immediately sympathizes with the plights of Camilla and Tim. When he feels the stinging betrayal of Jennifer’s infidelity, as well as the additional insult of discovering that Phillip knew all along and he was not expected on the weekend trip, he throws in completely with the two outsiders. Alex (John Philbin) : Why did they make this guy a musician? According to the credits, they had someone playing the music for him, but the person they hired did a lousy job. I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe he’s Phillip’s drug connection? And he wasn’t even good-looking! Jennifer obviously didn’t marry Bill for his looks, but if she’s gonna cheat, at least pick something better. Catherine Driftwood (Sam Jenkins): Phillip’s hired companion for the weekend is putting herself through medical school. Can you just smell the cliché? They even know what a cliché it is and put it in the script when she’s telling her big story near the end. Timothy Grant (Jeremy Sisto) : Tim is a pre-operation transsexual trying to raise enough money for his operation by smuggling illegal immigrants into Florida. He is on the hormones, which shows in his feminized physique and emotional unstability. He keeps calling his boyfriend who has apparently decided to drop Tim and we watch his whole life fall apart during the course of the film. Camilla Marquez (Lara del Sol) : The illegal immigrant is played by a Spanish actress who is far more popular in Europe. Story Phillip wants to show off his new yacht and invites his sister and her lover to come along with him and his companion for a weekend in Bimini. Simple enough? Well, his sister is married and her husband decides to come along after all, finally emerging from his depression. I gotta wonder why Jennifer didn’t call Alex or Phillip to warn them. It’s the 90s. I would have thought at least Phillip would have a cellphone. Oh, and Phillip’s companion is a prostitute he hired for the weekend. So our happy crew set off for a three-day tour and first thing they find is a burning boat with people needing help. Phillip doesn’t want to pick them up but everyone else comes down on him. As reward for his good deed, Phillip gets held up at gunpoint and his boat is hijacked by Tim the Pre-Transexual Smuggler. What follows is 90 minutes of melodrama as tempers flare, secrets are revealed and the ugly truth comes out about everyone there. Phillip is a murdering, homophobic asshole who has a gun and is carrying a lot of cash he probably hasn’t reported to the IRS. Catherine is a prostitute. Jennifer is a lying, cheating, cold-hearted bitch. Alex is a no-talent deadbeat having an affair with a married woman. Tim is a … well … okay it wasn’t very smart of him to try to make money this way, especially when he is very hormonal and unstable. Camilla is a stereotype – her husband was killed in a Cuban jail and she’s trying to get to America. Bill is a grieving son who I don’t particularly like but he’s probably the most sympathetic character in the movie. He didn’t actually do anything wrong. The whole thing comes to a head as Tim realizes George (his boyfriend) isn’t coming to get him and doesn’t want him anymore and he decides to kill himself, mirroring the scene at the beginning where Bill’s mother kills herself. Without that scene at the beginning, you lose all the parallels and the scene between Bill and Tim becomes another random element in a movie that already lacks cohesion. Even with the scene, it is not enough to save the movie from a bad script. Other Notes Repeat Appearances Grace Zabriskie (Passion of Darkly Noon, 1995) plays Bill’s suicidal mother here in a first scene that is not included on VHS copies. In PODN, she plays Clay’s crazy mother. Coincidentally, both characters shoot themselves. Nepotism Walter Mortensen appears very briefly (blink and you’ll miss him) as the co-pilot on the coast guard helicopter. It’s a Small World In this movie, Tim claims he has skin like a young Catherine Deneuve (sp?). Earlier this year, at the Golden Globe awards, Catherine was the presenter who introduced History of Violence. Official Site Yes, this film actually has an official site. Someone somewhere is proud of this film. Official Site Viggoness Ratings Viggo On-Screen (Quantity and Quality): 8 out of 10. Viggo is on screen almost the entire film, with lots of close-ups, but the film quality is pretty bad so you only get about 300 screencaps. Nekkid Viggo : 4 out of 10. Lots of bare chest starting in the second half of the film, as Viggo lets his shirt hang open, then goes swimming and loses it entirely. He also wears shorts so you get lots of leg in the bargain. When he’s climbing down into the cabin, we get a rear shot that goes very low down on his back. Viggo Sex : 2 out of 10. Viggo makes out with his hired girl on the deck, but it’s not the best kissing he’s ever done. Ya gotta wonder why he makes out with her in front of everyone instead of taking her down below where they can get really busy. Fetish Factor : 7 out of 10. Wet Viggo, Viggo in a white fluffy towel, Viggo rubbing white stuff on his skin, Viggo in shades, Viggo in shorts, foot shots, hand sex, Viggo with a gun in his hand, Viggo cussing, injured Viggo in makeshift sling. Clothes: 4 out of 10. That yellow shirt was ugly but had the redeeming quality that it billowed up nicely in the wind, exposing Viggo’s belly. Otherwise, he had a nice blue shirt, and went shirtless a lot. The shorts were okay. Not a fashion show – more about what he wasn’t wearing. I liked the white fluffy towel. Viggo Sound Bytes 7 out of 10. Many good lines in this film. Phillip is a total ass hole but his mouth works. “It’s my fucking boat.” “You’re a bad talk show topic.” “I’m a fucking asshole.” “Must be like finding out your wife is cheating on you.” “I looooove your music.” “Do you have a plan, Tim?” The entire yelling on the beach scene. You’ll laugh until you cry. Overall Viggoness Rating: 5.3 out of 10 Viggo, as usual, is gorgeous, especially to those of us with an appreciation for the Master Chief. The film quality is poor, but there’s lots of opportunity to watch Viggo swishing around in shorts, and in the right mood, you can laugh at everything else. BACK TOP
AMERICAN YAKUZA (1994) Character: Nick Davis/David Brandt	American Yakuza Release Date: 1993 review by HermioneO IMDB Plot Summary: An American FBI agent is lured away by the Japanese Mafia--the Yakuza--in this action film. SPOILERS The Characters: Nick Davis/David Brandt (Viggo Mortensen): David Brandt is an agent for the FBI, who takes on the identity of Nick Davis, a prisoner who died in solitary, in order to infiltrate the Yakuza. We know him as Nick from the beginning of the film until the FBI makes itself known. Shuji Sawamoto (Ryo Ishibashi): Shuji is honorable and brave, a modern man of Japan who would at one time have been a samurai in the service of his shogun. He is honest and generous, and trusts Nick Davis, perhaps foolishly, but completely. He welcomes the new man into the family of the Yakuza, even giving him his own god-daughter. Does this sound too good? Yeah, well, that’s one of the problems with the film. Dino Campanela (Michael Nouri): Dino is the local máfia boss and while apparently making deals with the Yakuza with one hand he seeks to betray them with the other. He’s big and ugly and loud and obnoxious and sleazy. Sam (Franklyn Ajaye): Can I just say, this guy does not look like he’s almost 60? We talk about Viggo looking younger every year and possibly having a portrait hidden away in his attic, but I think he must have gotten a few tips from Franklyn. Sam is David Brandt’s partner, a good and trusted friend in the agency. Unfortunately, he’s just tôo much a man of the agency to fully understand how far David will go for loyalty. Kazuo (Yuji Okumoto): This young man is Shuji’s second and jealous of Nick’s easy intimacy with Shuji. He treats Nick with suspicion, insulting him in Japanese, until Nick saves his ass, then treats him like a brother. Typical gang member. Yuko (Cristina Lawson): This lucky chick gets to seriously gnosh on Viggo. My favorite bit is when she is laying down on his back. Mmmmm. You know it’s love when Nick is checking out her fine rear end. When he says “Nice Picasso.” I don’t think he’s talking about the painting. Especially since it wasn’t a Picasso. Littman (Robert Forster): Dickwad FBI chief, this guy is taylor-made for the audience to hate. He doesn’t care about killing off the Yakuza and their dependents, no matter who else might get hurt, so long as he doesn’t have to deal with them himself. Isshin Tendo (John Fujioka): This is the “shogun,” or boss of the yakuza family. His name is on the company. He’s there basically to be a target. Vic (Nicky Katt): This is the number two guy working for the sleazy Máfia guy. He is not ambitious and doesn’t want a big house and would rather leave the Yakuza alone but gets bullied into going along with everything. Supporting Cast: James Katsuyuki Taenaka, Saiko Isshiki, Fritz Mashimo, Jeff Bankert, Rosine “Ace” Hatem, John Hammil, Michael Westfall, Nathan Jung, Chris Hubbell, Joey Ciccone, Toni Naples, Scott Roberts. Story The story is kind of trite. An ex-con looking to start over turns out to be an agent for the FBI, infiltrating the Yakuza. While the movie doesn’t seek to make the Yakuza into warm fuzzy bunnies (early on they assassinate a bunch of mafia guys), they are made out to be noble and admirable and certainly more likable than the crude mafia guys or the deceitful FBI guys who are willing to let a mob war ignite rather than do their jobs. Things are a little too cut and dried for this to be a good movie, but as B movies go it’s not bad. I would have liked to see the relationships between Yuko and Nick, and Shuji and Aya, explored more closely. Leave the mafia out of it or push them to the fringe, and explore the world of the Yakuza more closely. Shuji and Aya couldn’t be together openly because it was too dangerous, but they are new to the states, so why was it dangerous for them before? What in the Yakuza culture forbade their relationship, or are we talking about rival Yakuza clans? Since this was one of the first movies of its kind, exploring the culture of Japan as it interacted with the U.S., I can see why they used the mafia, already well-known in the states, and our main anti-crime task force, but these two entities were stereotyped and made into caricatures and it was not really believable to me. I think the movie suffered for it. Other Notes Great Score The music for this movie is evocative and distinctive and worth listening to even on its own. The composer, David C. Williams, also worked on the Prophecy and Blue Tiger. Repeat Appearances Robert Forster was also in Psycho (1998). John Hammil (one of the agents who drags Nick back to the office) had a minor role as Pendleton in Young Guns II. Other Viggo Connections Ryo starred in a 1994 film called Blue Tiger, which featured Henry Mortensen as an innocent victim at the beginning of the film. Ryo and Viggo have maintained contact over the intervening years through letters. Yuji Okumoto also appeared in Blue Tiger with Henry. John Hammil also appeared in Blue Tiger with Henry, and was in Ghostbusters II (I know this is stretching it, but Viggo himself referred to Vigo the Impaler in one of his Australian interviews). Where’s Henry? While Henry doesn’t get a credit, he does make an appearance in this film. When Nick/David is looking at the photo, supposedly of himself as a boy with his father, take a good look. The boy is Henry, and Viggo himself is the “father,” disguised with a fishing cap and mustache. Proud Cinematographer Richard Clabaugh devotes a large page out of his site http://www.rclabaugh.com/am_yak.html to American Yakuza. He describes several scenes and what they were going for. It provides some insight into the film, and as usual, Viggo was a prince. Viggoness Ratings Viggo On-Screen (Quantity and Quality): 10 out of 10. Viggo is featured through the entire film, he is the main character, and the focus is almost entirely on him. Add to that, Nick is one of Viggo’s beautiful characters. The film quality on the original DVD release is very good, allowing for high quality screencaps. Unfortunately, this film was captured in pan-and-scan rather than wide-screen. The more recent re-release, to take advantage of Viggo’s success, went for wide-screen, but did so by cutting off material from the top and bottom. Nekkid Viggo: 3 out of 10. Nick gets cozy with Yuko and we get to see his hairy chest and beautiful smooth back. We also get a teasing look at that mystery tattoo on his right arm. Viggo Sex: 4 out of 10. Kissing and touching and aftermath cuddling. Fetish Factor: 6 out of 10. Viggo with guns. Bloody Viggo. Hand sex. Viggo speaking Japanese. Kissing Viggo. Viggo in a hard hat. Viggo in jeans. Viggo in a suit. Drinking Viggo. DANCING Viggo. Clothes: 8 out of 10. Lots of goodness to be had. Viggo wears his Red Shag Shirt for the very first time in this film. On his second day on the job, beneath the blue corporate shirt, he is wearing a white hensely that may well be the first appearance of the same shirt used in Passion of Darkly Noon and Vanishing Point. Besides that he wears a nice suit for his Yakuza initiation, and lots of tight tee-shirts and jeans. Viggo Sound Bytes 4 out of 10. Viggo speaks Japanese towards the end of the movie. I really noticed how Viggo mumbles sometimes, making it difficult to follow his dialogue. I think this is because the sound is otherwise very good, making his mumbling stand out more. “Who sent you?” Shuji asks him during the gunfight. “The unemployment office.” Is Nick’s snappy response. “Nice Picasso.” Said while looking at Yuko’s ass. “Wonderbitch just blew the *beep* out of my cover.” “Suck my ass.” Whatever you want, Viggo. Overall Viggoness Rating: 5.8 out of 10 You get lots of Viggo bang for your buck with this early film in his career. It’s no coincidence that Nick Davis is one of Viggo’s most popular characters with his fan community, even after years of competition. BACK TOP
CRIMSON TIDE (1995) Character: Lt. Peter 'Weps' Ince	review by HermioneO Crimson Tide Release Date: 1995 IMDB Summary: In the near future, Russian rebels have taken over one of the ICBM bases in the USSR. Alarmed by the prospect of a rebel strike, the U.S. sends the U.S.S. Alabama, a nuclear ballistic submarine, to watch over the base and retaliate in case they launch. While on patrol, the submarine is attacked and the radio systems are knocked out. An emergency message received during the battle is only partially recovered. Captain Ramsey believes it to be the order to launch on the rebels, while XO Hunter wants to wait for a confirmation message. The conflict escalates into mutiny as Ramsey and Hunter fight for control of the Alabama's nuclear missiles. SPOILERS The Characters: Lt. Peter “Weps” Ince (Viggo Mortensen): How many people can say Gene Hackman threatened to blow their *beep* head off? Well, Viggo is one of them. Aside from Witness, this is the first film where Viggo got to play a normal man with a family, remarkable solely for the situation he was in, and his very active sweat glands. This character proves that there's no such thing as too much sweat on Viggo. Every other character he’d played up to this point was psychotic, a loner, dangerous, weird, evil or disgusting. Sure, Weps smoked, but that’s not a lot to hold against a guy and he was under a lot of stress. And he’s so sweaty. His face just glows. Peter Ince is a nice guy with a young son. He’s an upstanding Naval officer in the elite crew of a nuclear submarine. He has a hell of a future ahead of him if he doesn’t screw up. Plus, he can iron. Lt. Commander Ron Hunter (Denzel Washington): Hunter is the college-educated new generation of officers gradually replacing the old guard. He has a strong background in philosophy as well as military tactics and history, and thinks about the meaning and consequence of war, not just the object. While he respects the experience of the men who have gone before him, he is not afraid to speak his mind and offer a contradictory opinion, even when it means a smack in the puss.